just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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