Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
