Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
