I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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