We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
