someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize