My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
