why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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