like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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