I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize