Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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