At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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