Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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