Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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