May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
