So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
