I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
