Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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