So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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