i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
