In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
