Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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