Are we in a gay sports bar?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
