how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
