I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
