he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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