It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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