stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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