Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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