They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize