i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
