i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Terrible idea I love it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
