She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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