Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
