Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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