I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
