the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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