Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
