Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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