dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
