Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
