i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Damn victory sex feels great
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
