I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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