She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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