He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
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He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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