just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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