That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize