Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize