We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize