Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
