dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
