How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
