Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize