its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Of course I have a pirate flag
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
