two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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