My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
