38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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