U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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