If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
