sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We just shotgunned beers for America
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
