I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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