I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
