My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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