you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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