How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
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You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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