well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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