A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
