This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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