Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
