i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The best revenge is premature balding
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
