Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
