I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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