We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The beer is more important than you right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
